Even though I have been working in microfinance and it is seen as a very effective women’s empowerment tool, I admit I do not understand gender issues very well. To me the whole thing is like a lot of people making a lot of noises without actually doing anything. I agree that not all people working on gender issues are like that, but quite a few are. They will make tall claims and make wonderful presentations in various forums and presentations, but you can see through them through their actions or their off guard comments. That is what makes the whole concept of gender development all the more complex to me.
I will narrate an incident that happened a few days back. I was in a seminar were there were experts on various fields. There was also a lady who works towards gender development. She made a very moving presentation on the subject, and by the end of her speech, I really started to appreciate what she was saying. She ended off by saying that most people understand gender issue as women’s issues and women’s empowerment, when the fact is that it is about both men and women and about equality, and that both should work together towards mutual empowerment. She made it a point to mention that we need to come out of clichés and think beyond what we have been conditioned to think, to think that there are things that only men are supposed to do and that women are not supposed to do certain things. She said that gender development meant development, justice and opportunities to both men and women. Her point was well taken. I was to know later that I would have to change my opinion of this lady drastically later in the day.
What happened was that there was another presentation on perspectives, and the presenter narrator told us a story and asked a question. I will narrate the story in brief. Chandra and Chandni were deeply in love with each other but stayed on two sides of a crocodile raven river. The bridge across the river had fallen down but Chandni could no longer wait to get married to Chandra and desperately wanted to cross the river. The only way to do that was to sail across in the only ship, which belonged to Gurcharan. Chandni went to Gurcharan to ask him to take her in his ship, across the river. Gurcharan told her he would do so if Chandni agreed to sleep with him for a night. Chandni was furious, abused Gurcharan and stormed off.
Chandni then went to her friend, George, told him what had happened and asked for his help in the matter. George said it was none of his business and he did not want to get involved in all this, and that Chandni should find out her way on her own. Finding no other way out, Chandni went to Gurcharan and fulfilled his wish. True to his word, Gurcharan took her across the river to Chandra, who was very happy to see Chandni. Both of them hugged each other and started celebrating. Chandni thought she should not hide anything from Chandra and told him how she had managed to reach across the river. On hearing this, Chandra was furious and he refused to accept Chandni in his life and asked her to go back.
This was the story. The presenter then asked all the seminar participants to rank the four characters in the story from best to worst and various perspectives emerged. The lady who had earlier made the presentation on gender issue said that Chandra was the worst, and her first reason was, “First of all, it was Chandra, being the man, who should have crossed the river and gone to Chandni, not the other way round.” I was stunned to hear this from the same lady who had just a few hours earlier made the presentation on how we should come out of our clichés and that how men and women are equal and should not be discriminated in what they can do. While it maybe right that Chandra may have been the worst character in this scenario, but was this reason right, that too coming from this lady? Does it really matter who should have taken the initiative to cross the river, and why did she expect the ‘man’ to do it instead of the women. Are they not supposed to be ‘equal’? I lost the respect I had gained for her in that one moment, and this again left me confused on gender issues, what is right, what is wrong. I am no expert in this issue, but the expert who came, was no better herself, than saying a few rehearsed lines.
That is why I say, gender issues and experts never stop amusing, er, I mean, confusing me.
No comments:
Post a Comment